Episode 21: Buttered noodles fan club
Chase: Do you know the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber?
Courn: Mmmmm…
Chase: *laughs * Okay we gotta get into this. We get into this.
Courn: No, I know the difference between a pickle and like a cucumber, because it's been marinated. So what's the difference then between-
Chase: We haven't even gotten to the- okay hold on, hold on. Are we gonna go into the difference, do you need to know right now?
Courn: Did we even do the intro?
Chase: No, we haven't. That's the thing!
Courn: Okay, then do that!
Chase: *laughs* Welcome to Neurotakes! This is Chase.
Courn: This is Courn.
Chase: Let's get into it. When you go to the store, which I know you don't go super often. Do you ever ask the store associate for help if you don't know where something is? Whether it's a store you've been to or a new store
Courn: Absolutely the fuck not.
Chase: Yeah.
Courn: Yeah, my social anxiety would never. I will look it up on the app and try to find out what aisle it is in or make Raymond look for it.
Chase: For sure. I'm really stubborn. I hate asking for help. But then I go like 20 minutes and I can't find it. I'm like, okay, but I really need this ingredient. Because I do the thing, do I need this? Okay, so we're establishing that not everyone likes to ask for help but do you know who loves to ask people for help? White people. I feel like white people will immediately be like, excuse me where is- immediately right?
Courn: I've been asked in a grocery store more often from other patrons where something is, then I've asked someone who actually works there.
Chase: Yeah, so you get where the story is going. So I met H Mart the other day, which you know what H Mart is.
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: Yeah.
Courn: That's my home.
Chase: *laughs*
Courn: Sidebar, but literally H Mart was the first place I ever saw only other Asian people and I cried the first time I went in, that’s like a Hallmark moment!
Chase: Fair. For sure, same with Uwajimaya, over in Beaverton. I don’t know if you’ve been there?
Courn: No, I haven’t.
Chase: Also an Asian grocery store, it’s like the Asian grocery store in Beaverton. Anyways so I'm in H Mart, and this is the key context, I went to the one on Belmont here in Portland.
Courn: Yeahhhh. That one!
Chase: Yeah, you know where I'm leaving because I didn't have time to go all the way to 82nd. So I'm at this-
Courn: It's like a lowercase h-mart.
Chase: And it's like surrounded by rich white people who go there being like, I'm helping the local Asian grocery store. Even though it's like a corporate conglomerate, whatever.
Courn: It makes it worse that all the staff is Asian. Cause then you just see the power dynamic.
Chase: Yes! Yes! So I had to go in because there was a couple things I needed and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go in and of course the parking there is always a nightmare. It's just kind of like already a hectic situation getting in.
Courn: Yeah. It’s street parking!
Chase: And it's like part of it's under construction. It's crazy. So I'm going in, I got my like 4 things. I'm like, okay, I just need these things. Like stay on the list. So I'm looking and this lady and I walk past each other at one point and then we like walk past each other on a different aisle and I'm sitting there like looking at stuff, checking the label and then of course she like looks at me and I like don't look at her, but I see her in my side eye.
Courn: And she looks at me!
Both: And I look at her! *laughs*
Chase: And then of course it's excuse me, do you know where the curry is?
Courn: Like do I look like I fucking eat curry? They're like yes! *laughs*
Chase: *laughs* And of course I was like I literally paused and I just like looked at her. I was like. No, because I was like, I was like, how fast can I come up with a wippy response or something good? And I was like, I couldn't come up with it.
Courn: If you did know, I just say no.
Chase: That's the thing. I literally was like, I'm not going to tell you also, like I'm the only Asian, brown person in this aisle. You're gonna ask me. I don't look like I work here I'm not wearing a uniform. I don't have anything-
Courn: They knew who to ask to ask, they knew!
Chase: I was like, bro! So I was just real mad for a bit there and I should have said like, I don't work here, I don't know you should ask a worker, but I was not ready for it. And then Jess pointing out like well sometimes when you're just like on guard and like trying to like get through something, you don't have the bandwidth to have like a quippy response, something snappy and I was like dang, you know.
Courn: That's the reality honestly, I feel like every microaggression I've been a situation where it's like that. Either I just like cave and I'm like, oh, I think over there. I know. Like I just like play it off.
Chase: I wanna be like Drew Afualo and just be like, boom, no. And just like have something ready to go, but I'm just not quick and ready. I'm like, dang it.
Courn: Me either, I don't have that.
Chase: I just, I was like, I gotta tell you on this pod cause that was so frustrating. Especially coming off the food episode.
Courn: I don't know why. Okay that vividly reminds me of the time we went to Nudi I think it's called Nudi House or something, it's in the most gentrified area of Portland it's in what's that called, Milwaukee? I think Milwaukee, yeah it's in the Milwaukee, Sellwood, area which we used to live I don't know why I'm blanking on where that is-
Chase: Milwaukees a little less, but Sellwood's like real-
Courn: It's just like very bougie.
Chase: Like for no reason.
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: Literally no reason.
Courn: But we go there and the staff is really nice there. The cook in the back is always like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why, I don't know, we have a rapport, repertoire?
Chase: Rapport?
Courn: *laughs* This literally happened to us another episode!
Chase: Every time! *laughs*
Courn: We have a rapport, but I went there with Raymond and then there was this like old couple that came in that was like both white. And like, while we already ordered and this man straight up 2 tables away walks out of his table. He's like, could you tell me what's good here? Only to me.
Chase: Oh my gosh.
Courn: And I just was like, and I was like, oh, honestly, I'm really picky. And like, I always get the japchae because I'm Korean and I love a good japchae, their japchae is good but if you don't like mushrooms, you don't like vegetables, you're probably not gonna like this and they're just like oh yeah the Japchae, and they go back to the other person and they're just like, yeah, I'm gonna get the Japchae and then the person's like, you hate mushrooms. Don't get that. And then this man kept coming back to talk to me like every like 30 seconds to ask me a question. It was so embarrassing.
Chase: Harassment.
Courn: Yeah, it was so awkward And like the waitress told him multiple times, like, hey, ask me about questions. I'm the person who can recommend you things on the menu. And then he literally came over after we got our appetizers. Like, oh, that looks good. It literally was the most traumatizing thing. And in the end, I just, I didn't know what to do. And Raymond's also not good about like, I don't know, avoiding conflict or like confronting people.
Chase: This is a white person, right?
Courn: Yes.
Chase: Yeah, of course.
Courn: But I don't know. It also-
Chase: You should have suggested that like, oh, I heard the sprites really good here. They got amazing chopsticks!
Courn: It's super fresh!
Chase: Why is that always just like the most common microaggression though, right? It's like, you're a person who belongs here clearly, like help me. No, figure it out. And then of course, I feel like it even goes a point further than that where you're like, if you were to say, please stop talking to me or like please leave me alone then, they'll be like well I was just trying to! Yeah I will and then like they get violent and aggressive on you and now you're put at risk like-
Courn: I think that gets me I think the thing that gets me in both those instances is that there was a designated person that you could have asked instead. You didn't have to ask a random patron at the restaurant. You could literally ask the waiter, what's good?
Chase: You couldn't ask any of the white patrons though. Ask the Asian one.
Courn: There was no one else in there. No wait no no I think there was 1oneother couple and they were in the corner. They were white.
Chase: But again like chose to ask you, just terrible, but like they always feel oh but I'm like trying to be authentic and like learn the culture!
Courn: Yeah, respectfully I'm the most unauthentic asian to ask about food!
Chase: And that's facts!
Courn: I'm like my ass has an eating disorder. Don't ask me about what you think I should recommend. I have such bias.
Chase: I heard the boiled water is really good. You should try that.
Courn: I heard the plain buttered noodles are like literally so good!
Chase: Okay, but don't hate on those buttered noodles. They're so good. I do love buttered noodles.
Courn: They're so good. Japchae is just an upgrade from buttered noodles with like soy sauce.
Chase: Oh, that sounds fire.
Courn: Japchae is great.
Chase: Just try it. Just that's the thing people just try stuff like look it up online. Google exists. You talk about like maybe like specialties with food. I wanted to ask you this the other day because I started eating a burger and I was like how do you eat a burger? Do you eat it upside down or do you flip it?
Courn: Why would you eat it? What does that mean eat it upside down? Is that even an option?
Chase: How do you eat the burger?
Courn: Like right side up.
Chase: What is right side up? What is right?
Courn: Top bun.
Chase: So like the sesame bun on top.
Courn: Yeah, I don't use, I don't eat a sesame bun. But, for Krusty Krab reenactment purposes, I was gonna say. Sesame seeds on top.
Chase: Okay, so that's the top bun. You eat that on top and eat that just in the mouth.
Courn: And then I go row by row with little bites.
Chase: Left to right, right to left?
Courn: Right to left.
Chase: Oh.
Courn: Oh no, it does kind of zigzag. That's how I eat my toast too and sandwiches.
Chase: Yeah. Okay, interesting.
Courn: I like it to be even. So if I put it down, it doesn't look embarrassing, which this is so stupid.
Chase: It's gonna be even bites too.
Courn: Yeah you ever look at someone put their burger down, there's just a giant like monster-sized bite out of it. I'm not judging them but I'm a little.
Chase: Or like a big tomato flopping out the side.
Courn: Yeah I would never.
Courn: You can't let stuff go off the side like I have to equally eat all the corners.
Chase: Yeah.
Courn: I've been told it looks very unhinged, people do not like to eat out with me. We get it!
Chase: I love eating out with you.
Courn: That's what she said!
Chase: Hey!! I was literally about to cue that up, let's go! Well no, I was thinking like I picked up a burger I started eating I was like wait, is it do people eat it different ways? I eat sometimes so I usually go like side to side and then I actually go in a circle from there and I like rotate around. So I get like a couple bites in and then I like go the sides and I kind of like rotate it around because I hate when it goes all out one side. You know what I mean?
Courn: That's fair. Actually the circle thing is fair but I'm like very about getting an even distribution of food. So I feel like I try to eat it as much as I can in a row.
Chase: For sure. For sure.
Courn: I feel like I see less opinions about burgers and more about pizza or just people hating on people who like fold their pizza and then eat it or use a fork. I like to use a fork with my pizza if it's remotely soupy or if the piece is longer than like 6 inches you need to use a fork.
Chase: That goes into a good topic though of like the accessibility and just like some people like don't want to put their hands on food and like that's on you but like I don't know some people also like, it's like really authentic to like eat food with certain utensils and eat it a certain way. Both Asian, I mean you got like some African dishes who use their hands a lot like, I don't know, is there like a etiquette or is there a balance to like balancing those 2 things, like chopsticks, like I will not eat sushi with my fingers or a fork, like I have to eat chopsticks.
Courn: I don't like eating stuff with my hands, but.
Chase: But like chopsticks are really hard.
Courn: Yeah, I'm very like uncoordinated. So I've been trying to learn how to use chopsticks for the past like several years. If you don't learn it when you're a kid it's really hard. I just don't have muscle memory and something about the finger control I don't know I also just have like I affectionately call it arthritis hands. I don't know what it is but I can't use my hands very well.
Chase: Like those fine motor skills.
Courn: Yeah with detailed grip anymore.
Chase: Especially with the heavy and like picking and scooping.
Courn: So I really want to learn how to use chopsticks. It's embarrassing as an Asian person having to ask for a fork at every Asian restaurant. I'm like sorry should I put a little asterisk wasian okay? My parents didn't love me. They didn't teach me how to use chopsticks. Sorry that Sarah over there, this white bitch who grew up in Portland knows how to use chopsticks because they came from a multi-ethnic home.
Chase: *laughs* Because they grew up going to Sushi Town as a kid. Literally, the sushi go around.
Courn: I literally have so many white friends that are like, you can't even use chopsticks, but I can't.
Chase: Okay. See! And I was like, I would be that person that also makes fun, but now I kind of get like low key. It's an accessibility thing. It ain't even like an ignorance thing.
Courn: Even the hand dexterity thing. And I get it. And I think it's because so many, like, I don't know, I feel like white people will lean into like being like, oh, chopsticks are impossible to use. And I'm just like, well, if you use them and you learned how to use them at the right time, they're not impossible to use. A lot of people just don't want to do the work. The average like non-disabled person can learn how to use chopsticks.
Chase: Yeah. Also contrast that with like, what is it like the eating standard with like how many forks and spoons and plates and dishes and it goes out for the plate. Tell me that's hard. That's hard to learn.
Courn: Tell me about salad forks. I don't know I don't eat salad but I like the salad fork because it's smaller.
Chase: Entree spoon? Butter knife? Steak knife? Yeah that's a lot of stuff going on but I was like this burger thing has to be the same with sandwiches but like because sometimes I'll eat the burger with like the top side down because you pick it up from the plate and then it goes straight to your mouth right? Like unless you pick it up from the plate with your thumbs at the bottom of the burger, and then go up and then like scoop it up to you and then like direct it into mouth, otherwise like you could just pick it up and then flip it into your mouth, you know what I'm saying?
Courn: I guess, I don't pick up burgers like that.
Chase: Well, I did the other day and all of a sudden I was like is this how I eat burgers?
Courn: It's upside down!
Chase: Yeah I was like, I don't hate this. So, I don't know and then I flipped it. There's a lot of things happen in once but.
Courn: I'm just worried about stuff falling out. I think my hot take is that they just never make the buns big enough or they're just making like the burgers too big, your burger should not be coming off the side. Nothing should be. Yeah, you just have like a piece of lettuce sticking out like a tree branch?
Chase: I hate when it's like too tall and smash it down. It's just like weird proportions and, y3qh that's fair. You don't even eat burgers. You don't even eat meat.
Courn: I eat the, I eat, whatever bean burgers. I like bean patties a lot, the texture is very fun for me.
Chase: Really?
Courn: But they're very messy.
Chase: You want to know a really embarrassing core memory speaking of bean burgers? I was like at that age where I was just old enough to like not be with my family all the time, I could go out with like some friends stuff but I had like adult friends cuz that was a weird thing I'd had yeah-
Courn: Need to look into that!
Chase: Yeah, it was not good so like I'm out to lunch with like 2 adults and like me right? And I was like I didn't know what like a black bean burger was I don't know never seen that before I've never heard about like a burgers a burgers, I was like black bean I was like oh I'll try that and just yeah ordered that and whatever-
Courn: What the fuck is this?!
Chase: And then my friend left and then the person like her friend was there and she's like oh, like are you vegetarian? I was like no and she's like, oh like you ordered like a black bean burger so I was oh, and I was like oh yeah I don't know, it just sounded good!
Courn: I just like it!
Chase: It immediately I was like, oh god what did I do and looking back. And then of course I get it and I was like, Oh, what the hell? No one told me!
Courn: Okay. I will say me not all black bean burgers are made equal.
Chase: Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure I just tried to eat it and make do with it. But I was like, damn, I thought I was getting a burger with some black beans.
Courn: Yeah. I like the one at PDX Sliders.
Chase: I'm never eating those again. PDX Sliders is fire.
Courn: Yeah, I like the combo.
Chase: A little expensive, but they're good.
Courn: It is very expensive.
Chase: But they're good. They're good. Good texture, good proportions.
Courn: And it's cause they got them shoestring truffle fries! Roundabout moment.
Chase: More places need to do. Why don't more places do that? I would pay a lot of money for truffle fries. Even a shoestring, though.
Courn: Yeah, they always get rid of them.
Chase: It's probably expensive. People don't want to pay. Yeah, we're bougie here in Portland. You should buy some fancy fries.
Courn: Right, if I'm gonna live somewhere gentrified give me my goddamn truffle shoestring fries. What's the point of living here if I can't get that?
Chase: That's honestly...
Courn: No the benefit is that you can go to your all white H-Mart.
Chase: And be harassed thinking you're a worker. RIP. Okay. I'm going to really do a 1 80 here. Do you have any food hyper fixations at the moment?
Courn: Ooh.
Chase: Like are you like really onto a certain food, a snack or anything?
Courn: I'm like honestly in a dead zone right now, which is not great, I'm been having a really hard time eating foods, all my safe foods are not quite hitting.
Chase: I hate those those, that part in the cycle when you're like in between and trying to find the next food.
Courn: I've been really struggling with entrees and main dishes. And instead I keep hyperfixating on candies and stuff, which is hard for me because it kind of ruins my appetite and then doesn't make me feel so good when I'm eating candy all the time.
Chase: I get headaches after a while if I have too much sugar.
Courn: Yeah, but I'm eating a lot of chocolate caramels. They're really good.
Chase: That's a solid one!
Courn: Yeah, I also got these like fancy pop tarts.
Chase: Oh, you told me about those. The protein ones?
Courn: Yeah, they're called Ghetto. No, they're not protein ones. They're called Ghetto Gastro and it's like by this Black owned company.
Chase: Okay, I was gonna cringe at ghetto real quick.
Courn: Oh no, no, no, go to their website! It's very cute. Like they're just like, oh yeah, like being ghetto is being creative. It's being like, I don't know. Like diversifying your food, using what you have. They seem, I don't know much about them, but someone was like-
Chase: I just know I'm not supposed to use the word ghetto anymore as a white, half white person.
Courn: Correct! That's the only way I would only ever say it has been referencing this name.
Chase: Okay. So that's been good.
Courn: Yeah, it was good. It has very cool packaging. It's of course overpriced. It's like $6 for a box of 4 poptarts, but I really like them.
Chase: 4 with 2 in a pack?
Courn: No.
Chase: Oh, like singles?
Courn: Yeah. I got them on sale for like, I think $3. So it was like, you know, almost a dollar a pop. But they’re really good.
Chase: You got to do it sometimes, though.
Courn: That's a thing like yummy fig newtons! They didn't taste like poptarts!
Chase: Eww no, fig newtons are the worst cookie to ever. Of course you do, because we have opposite like favorites and preferences when it comes to food textures, I can't!
Courn: I like mushy stuff, like really mushy though!
Chase: Fig newtons are the worst, fig newtons aren’t even cookie tasting like if it was a raspberry filling sure, but even then I'm like-
Courn: It has different filling types.
Chase: Yeah, but it's a fig newton, it’s supposed to be figs.
Courn: I get the strawberry ones.
Chase: Yeah but figs, fig newton's are supposed to be figs.
Courn: I don't actually, I don't like flavor ones, I get the strawberry one, I don’t think I’m a true fig Newton fan.
Chase: Okay, okay so soft cookie, so you're on the poptarts, any anything else?
Courn: That's bad, that's kind of it.
Chase: That's fine.
Courn: I'm always on an apple juice kick ,that's my only thing that I consistently will drink at any time of day.
Chase: Do you dilute it or you just drink just straight concentrate?
Courn: Dude, is I mean it's already like 80 percent water, it's you know apple juice isn't like straight apple you know? Have I watered it down to make it last longer before? Yes.
Chase: Yeah, for sure.
Courn: What about you? You got any good food fixation?
Chase: It's tough. Complex foods and complex textures are always a fan favorite. Gotta have crunchy, definitely in a savory phase. A lot of chips, because calories are calories. Gotta do what you gotta do. I am back on my protein cookie bullshit, like the ones you get those from the store it's those like like Larry and Terr,y or something like that have you seen that? They're like the protein cookies it's like 16 grams of cookie or something I don't know, but I get those the white chocolate macadamias are pretty solid, they taste the least like play-doh.
Courn: *laughs* That's a very true statement. They all are like good if you don't eat a real cookie after.
Chase: Oh, yeah and of course I'm kind of more used to like vegan cookies and how bad they are anyway so that's fine. The Winco brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch has been hitting. I've been on that lately. It's like extra crispy and like a really good size of cereal, like it's not too big, and it doesn't get soggy quick so I've been on that for a bit. Unfortunately been on some hot dogs lately. We've been doing some chili dogs.
Courn: That's not unfortunately.
Chase: I mean hot dogs are probably the worst meat possible to eat.
Courn: I think just the thinking about how they're made is a little gross. But like you know.
Chase: The breakfast fixation I've been on is like those little like sausages, like Polska sausages like cutting those up and making tater tots and I put that at breakfast because I don't like, I'm really anti egg right now, I'm really over eggs so that's probably been that's been like a 3-
Courn: I'm team no eggs! Eggs are gross!
Chase: Yeah, that's fair. I'm like on a 3 or four-week fixation with that for breakfast, which is huge for me, because usually I get tired after like 2 or 3.
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: So, there you go.
Courn: That sounded like a lot of foods, okay? I'm about it. Ooh, I just didn't remember my other fixation, which I've been doing this for years, but I go off and on. But whenever I tell friends about this, they think it's really unhinged, but I like to get the chive cream and cheese and I get it from a local bagel place. But instead of putting on bagels, because the store bought bagels aren't good. If you buy bagels there, they go bad the next day. I put it on saltine crackers.
Chase: Oh okay.
Courn: Yeah, I don't know why friends think that's so unhinged. Because I pulled that out for lunch before and I do exactly 17 crackers. That's the perfect amount to fill me up.
Chase: Really?
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: That's interesting. So you counted them as you ate.
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: And found that out one day.
Courn: And then I also get 17 grapes and then I eat 1 grape after each 1 in between.
Chase: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. True. I hate- that's one thing about like a shark coochie board is-
Courn: Just in passing, the one thing about a shark coochie board-
Chase: Well you know, you mentioned is like, like when proportions are off, like you got a big cheese and like you got like a lot of crackers but only like a little fruit and then like how am I supposed to rotate a bite where it's like turns into like 4 cracker bites and then like 1 fruit bite and like that's a bad ratio and like back and forth, but I do love yeah, I like that that's okay, okay so 17 and 17, you start feeling too full after like 18, 19?
Courn: No yeah. I'm gonna feel or I eat too much I get sick of it, like you have to keep it on a phase where it's like you want a little bit more but you stop because otherwise if I eat too much, then I will never eat the cream cheese again!
Chase: That's how I was about the cereals like I got-
Courn: Like not from a dieting perspective, I'm not like oh I can't eat more than 17 crackers!
Chase: No, your brain just is like done!
Courn: No cuz it’s the same thing, if i eat the whole thing of cream cheese in one day. Then I'll never eat it again. And I would like to eat it every day.
Chase: I love eating cream cheese on stuff. It's like really, yeah, it goes well with stuff. Honestly, I put sour cream on my chili hot dog the other day. So I put like-
Courn: Yeah, that sounds good!
Chase: Yeah, it was like a little creamy and stuff in there. That was fire!
Courn: For being lactose intolerant. You know, we eat a lot of cheese and shit!
Chase: We've been eating a lot more. And that was probably another accommodation is like, we get the foods that we like in the allergy supportive ways. Expensive, like what a privilege but like damn, that sour cream is like 7 or 8 bucks. It'll be last a while but I'm like it does it do be making food a lot easier to eat.
Courn: Yeah that's the one thing I just I can't I get horribly ill, actually I just take lactaid now every to every meal.
Chase: Yeah have you seen those moo pills they're making, it's like a competitor now to lactaid.
Courn: Yeah I saw those ads.
Chase: Have you tried it?
Courn: No I haven't I'm sure it's probably the same thing.
Chase: Sponsor us.
Courn: Yeah please.
Chase: I wish they worked on me. It's really interesting you have like, it's not OCD it's just more of like an obsessive like amount of food to eat like you don't eat over that. What's the right way to describe that?
Courn: I just have a lot of rituals around food.
Chase: Rituals, that's a good way to put it!
Courn: And I think that's a very autistic thing. I think it's a very like sensory processing thing too. And I'm very specific about how I eat my food. Like I know we talked about that before, but it really has to be like the perfect setting. Like it needs the right size bite, the right amount of texture, like the right temp, the right scent, it needs to look right, like I don't want things mixed together, like all those things play an impact and if one of those things is off then I won't enjoy the bite and I won't be able to eat anymore. So it's like these are survival techniques, like I made all these systems because I won't eat if I don't do them. And I didn't realize how detailed and insane they might sound to other people until it started like coming out in adulthood. I think that's the thing. I didn't realize I just had so many rituals. Like I just thought everyone else was doing all these things around food. I'm like, oh, you don't closely inspect every bite you eat, like you just shovel it in. And I also know some like autistic and ADHD people are like that. They're like, oh I can't see my food so I just need to eat it as quickly as possible. And yeah, I mean I think each has its detractions and advantages.
Chase: But yeah, I used to eat really fast and then I went through a phase of eating really slow. Now I'm kind of like a eat quick but like once I start to feel full I take a break so I don't get too full because once my brain registers full, it's like no food goes down because if I try to eat past that full feeling even just one bite, I'll gag and then I'm like well now I can't eat for the whole day.
Courn: Yeah well I mean there's that it's there's science rooted in that like a lot of autistic people and I don't know, if that's true for ADHD people but I assume it has to do the sensory processing disorder, which could be shared, like you don't have a great sense of your internal feelings and stuff, so it's hard to know when you have to go to the bathroom or when you are full. And I mean, I think that would be-
Chase: My wife experiences that a lot.
Courn: Yeah, and it's very hard for me. It's like when I have to go to the bathroom, I don't have to go until it's urgent. I have to go within 30 seconds.
Chase: Right now!
Courn: And it's like that with food too. So I feel like I'll accidentally, you know, like literally like kind of starve myself because I just forget about eating. And then you'll eat really quick. You don't realize you're full. You overeat, then feel like crap. And it's just like-
Chase: Talk about some binge eating habits and yeah, it's just a swing the pendulum.
Courn: I literally thought I wasn't binge eating until I looked up what binge eating was and I was like, oh shit, that's what I've been doing.
Chase: Yeah, absolutely. I did the same thing, just two different extremes. I wish it wasn't such a challenge to eat. I love food. I love eating, but my body does not cooperate.
Courn: No, my body literally hates everything I eat and that's like a big thing.
Chase: Yeah, speaking of rituals, we're coming up on fall season starting. Today's quite the fall day in Portland.
Courn: There's like thunderstorms in the forecast.
Chase: Yeah, we got a lot of rain coming in. We woke up to some rain. It was definitely a little chilly. Do you feel the cold weather in your bones? Do your joints hurt when it changes weather?
Courn: I mean, kind of. Like that sounds insane, but like, I don't know. I feel like a lot of people feel affected by seasonal changes.
Chase: I've heard that a lot.
Courn: I think that can be mental. I think that can be physical. Especially on disabled bodies I think. Anything that kind of disrupts your normal situation or what you're expecting can be very disorienting and dysregulating. But I know I always get like seasonal, like I feel bad when seasons are changing. I think a lot of that has to do with the temperature, especially this time of year. I feel like it's been really hot and that's really hard on my body. And then when it just instantly cools down, I feel, I get really cold. I'm like cold all this week because it just wasn't as warm and I had the heat blasting in my house and stuff and I just feel not super great.
Chase: Right.
Courn: And I know I'm not alone in feeling that. But also fall temperature, okay, I don't know if just because of where we live, but I feel like fall is really overhyped as ideal temperature, because at least in Portland with all this climate change and shit, literally in the fall, it'll be like 40 degrees in the morning, and then like 90 at 3 p.m. And it makes me wanna like rip my hair out, because, I don't know how to dress for it. It's so uncomfortable to have that drastic of a change within 1 day. Like a couple hours.
Chase: You wake up and need like a jacket and pants but by like 3 p.m you need shorts and a t-shirt.
Courn: Yeah, like I just wish it was one or the other. I don't like big temperature changes.
Chase: Well, especially here where like you said climate change and how fast things change we haven't ever really had like these really big changes in a season and then it goes back like, I don't know if you've noticed that like we had that thunderstorm like a month ago it was just like pouring and then like 3 days later it was like 90 and sunny and like almost completely dried out and I think that quick transition or like you said it's, it's more like the transitioning that's like I think hard for most, and the flip-flopping, because like you said if it just stayed one thing, cool.
Courn: It’s just weird cause that we live in a very like moderately temperature and climate area like that is very much Pacific Northwest so it's very interesting how bad it's getting, I know this is nothing comparison to like other parts
Chase: Totally!
Courn: Of the country, of the world, like how fast temperature changes but we ain't used to it. And like I mean I've lived here almost like 10 years and I've directly seen how much hotter the summers have gotten, how much colder and snowier the winters have gotten. It's very weird.
Chase: Absolutely, absolutely. I also struggle, it's funny though, I'm the opposite. I like the heat. So summers I'm like yeah and then the winter I'm like ehhhh. So I feel like as we transition to cold, I try not to put like a jacket too, put a jacket on too early. Because then I get like acclimated and then it gets colder and I'm like really cold, so I try to like wear my shorts today and whatever else.
Courn: I'm just constantly overheated all the time, so I feel like there's no way in summer for me and I at least like that in winter like you can always take off another layer that's the thing if you're cold like you can or I said that backwards you cannot always take off another layer, like when you're cold you can always put more stuff on but when you get too hot to a point you can't just like rip off your skin okay, like I think that's what frustrates me so I'm always overheated all the time. So just like the idea of just like being in the summer and not being able to cool down is just like my worst nightmare.
Chase: Yeah, that's fair I think I also run at like a slightly lower temperature than most people cuz I'm so comfy in the summer, like those hundred-degree days. I'm like it's toasty, but I'm cool. Literally, I'm like I could spend an hour out here. It's hot but it's cool.
Courn: Yeah. Honestly my body regulation is just trash. Like my body's in regulation. I get cold easily. I get hot easily. So it's just like everything has to be very moderate and I think that's very annoying. Because I'm always dressed in so many layers.
Chase: Yeah, I will say if I'm like in multiple layers outside and it's hot that's not great, because I'm usually like a shorts and a t-shirt or something that's totally fine but yeah, if I'm in like pants like when I had to get all kind of like just slightly dressed up for my aunt's celebration of life in Hawaii, like putting pants on, socks, closed-toe shoes. I was like, oh yeah, this ain't that comfy. But now I can see it. What about clothes and other like sensory things? Do you have special clothes that you wear to like reduce sensory? I think you do, right? Don't you have like the same-
Courn: Yeah, I have a laundry list of like sensory accommodations for clothes and stuff.
Chase: Yeah, because you use like the same shirt, just like different colors because it fits well and like, right? It's like a good texture. That's really smart. I like that idea.
Courn: Yeah, I think there's a lot of like different components of that. Because I think the big thing like just thinking sensory feeling alone, like obviously a lot of fabrics and tightness of clothes don't work well for me. I forced myself into wearing them for so long. I just thought everyone else was freaking dying in their jeans. Turns out they're not.
Courn: That's so odd to me.
Courn: Like I literally, I just had this phase in middle school where I wore these like really tight skinny jeans because that's what everyone else was wearing. And literally I would cry when I took them off when I got home. Like they would leave an indent on my stomach and I literally would just cry. But my mom would be like, these look too tight. And I'm like, no, they're fine.
Chase: Not you not being able to bend over.
Courn: Yeah, I partially think that's why I was so agitated all the time as a kid because I was always like in this like, I don't know, kind of like fight-or-flight response of being uncomfortable all the time. So literally just wearing looser clothing has probably been the biggest accommodation I've made as an adult.
Chase: Yeah, let's throw some gender roles on those layers too, like how that plays into it.
Courn: Because I think that's a big part of it too, because I think it's interesting because like Raymond for example, like I wouldn't say he really has a lot of like sensory differences. Like I don't think we share that at all, but one thing I've noticed that he's a really low tolerance for clothes being uncomfortable and I think that's because of just like growing up as a man like very much, he's like why would I wear something that's not comfortable. And I feel like I feel like I hear that from my brothers-
Chase: Oh for sure!
Courn: And I'm just like oh well, nothing that I was told to wear was comfortable.
Chase: Great contrast because also men's clothes is very loose right? That's kind of like the epitome of like a man's style and masculine style is like looser fitting stuff, it has not really I guess traditionally been like tight-fitting like obviously skinny jeans came in for a bit there but like most masc stuff is loose fitting. It's got a lot of room pockets.
Courn: A lot of athletic styles too that I feel like can be normalized is like, I don't know, acceptable wear. I feel like that's stuff I couldn't wear on high school. I couldn't just wear like athletic clothes. Like you couldn't wear tights and stuff like that.
Chase: Yeah, I mean guys can walk around in basketball shorts and like a t-shirt and some slides and then that's it and like a woman wears that and it's like oh, are you having a is it is it the walk of shame?
Courn: Are you gay?
Chase: I was gonna say!
Courn: Do you like women?
Chase: Dang, way to call me out, wearing basketball shorts! Rude!
Courn: Some people fit the stereotype, some don't! No, but I do think that those gender stereotypes play such a big role, like wearing uncomfortable clothes. And I think that's a very specific experience to AFAB, autistic and ADHD people who have these sensitive problems later in life. Like really realizing that like, you don't have to wear stuff if it's not comfortable. And that seems like such an obvious thing. But like, I think it goes so much far, like beyond just like clothes. Like you think shoes, you think bags, you think jewelry, makeup's a big one.
Chase: All the accessories, yeah.
Courn: Yeah, all that stuff. Like, I still want to wear jewelry so bad some days, but I literally cannot tolerate wearing like rings, necklaces, like bracelets and stuff. So I don't. Earrings are the one thing I can tolerate, so that's where my exciting thing is.
Chase: Yeah. Earrings?
Courn: Yeah. And even so, like I'm still particular.
Chase: And rings, rings?
Courn: No, I cannot do rings. I'm like, even though I'm married, I don't wear a ring. We don't even have a fancy ring.
Chase: You don't get the tattoo ring?
Courn: You know, I'm scared that it would look bad cuz finger tattoos spread out.
Chase: Especially the around the finger, there's no like good position to put there.
Courn: I've never seen a good one aged after a year respectfully.
Chase: Yeah, hot take! That’s fair.
Courn: How do people wear bras, like I just don't understand and I know that's a universal thing, that bras are uncomfortable but like they shouldn't feel like you're dying at all times. And that's how bras felt to me. Like I realized as an adult, I could just wear a sports bra all the time, which is still mildly uncomfortable.
Chase: Yeah. But also kind of a taboo. That's kind of a hot take though. It might not be as much in like the queer community, but I feel like society at large is like, sports bra all the time, what?
Courn: Yeah, I've had a lot of girls that are friends be like, oh, that's so weird. You wear a sports bra all the time. And they're like, oh, I can see your sports bra strap. And I'm like-
Chase: I remember that.
Courn: I'm like, okay?
Chase: I don't like my sports brush up showing, but I remember making the switch to like wearing like padded bras to just like full time sports bra. And I was like, this is amazing. Why have I never done this?
Courn: Have we ever thought about that maybe our boobs aren't designed just to be like propped up and exposed for other people, that maybe it's just nice if they're just sitting there?
Chase: I enjoy the like, free the nipple movement that's going around. I have such a hard time just going free titty out in the world because they're like just socialized like I was socialized to think, big tits like up and I display and like I wore a ton of push-up bras back in the day. But I just, I don't know something about it I'm just like feels weird, but it shouldn't be. Men can have their nipples out, non-binary can have their nipples out!
Courn: It doesn't bother me, but I do think the free the nipple thing or just like is only really normalized if you have small boobs and I think that's what bothers me because I feel like if you have big boobs and you have giant nipples that stick out like an inch which, yeah a lot of people have boobs that look like that. it's not as accepted like-
Chase: You don't need to out yourself, just kidding, just kidding!
Courn: Maybe I have a long nipples, you don't know me!
Chase: Maybe I got tiny nipples!
Courn: I got nothing!
Chase: Yeah, but you're gonna have nothing soon!
Courn: Yeah! A year to 2 years but I do think it's weird because I'm just like I, it definitely seems like it's a double standard like if you have bigger boobs like also people sexualize if you go out.
Chase: Yep!
Courn: Also I've never had the thought of wanting to go braless because it also is painful for my boobs just to like wave around when I’m walking. That's not a fun time for me.
Chase: So. A couple of people the other day at soccer practice showed up and played with no bra and I was impressed because just running.
Courn: That sounds so painful!
Chase: I was gonna say, I don't have that big of titties, but I was like, dang!
Courn: I might take someone out. That's an occupational hazard.
Chase: The person loved it. They were having a good time. I was like, okay, sure. That's cool. But bras are definitely uncomfortable. Are you kidding me?
Courn: Oh yeah! I feel that way about underwear too. Who is gaslighting people into believing that thongs are comfortable. I don't fucking believe them I've tried on so many types of faster and there's no way you convince me that just having a string up your ass is like Really comfort.
Chase: That's fair. I didn't like Okay, here we go. We're going into this. We're going to go into this I feel like when it goes up your butt, like that's fine. I didn't really care.
Chase: It was like the front, like front wedgie that I hated. Like to me, that was what was killer. Or sometimes I just wore like loose enough ones.
Courn: I think it was all for me.
Chase: But then
Courn: it's not even doing anything. Just loose enough. Just hanging off.
Chase: That's the thing. I'm like, what is the point at this? Like at this point of a song, like, what is it doing? Why can't I just go free balling? Yeah.
Chase: There's no equivalent to free balling for vagina owners is there?
Courn: I know people who go whatever, no underwear, but respectfully I don't wash my pants enough to do that. Yes. And like discharge guys. That's the thing.
Chase: That's the thing. I feel like for.
Courn: That's a risky. That's a risky time.
Chase: Yeah. For bodies with discharge, you got to be kind of mindful of that. I will say, now that I switched to boxers, game changer. There are definitely some bad boxer and boxer briefs out there. But like some nice boxer briefs that are like loose cuz I never liked the ones that like they would right up my
Courn: yeah they right up your coochie especially like yeah
Chase: I would wear like Nike Pro like the little shorts those are the worst!
Courn: I had to wear those for volleyball?
Chase: Of course you did.
Courn: Required school uniform.
Chase: The inseam is like half an inch. And like boxer briefs are minimum like 3 or 4 inches. But I don't like the-
Courn: You sneeze, your coochie comes out.
Chase: Yeah. I don't like the the biker short length but like some of those nicely breathable material, oh my gosh, that is much more accommodating for me, much nicer. And like you said, I can't be getting booty sweat all on my shorts every single time and washing that. I don't have enough clothes to rotate that much. So.
Courn: Well, I think a really weird thing too, that I think I still have to come over each day is how much like focus is put on like the idea that your underwear can't show in any way. Cause I think that's like such a big industry like the idea that someone could see your bra absolutely taboo, that's why I think thongs exist people, like we don't want to see your underwear you know in pants or in skirts and stuff and I feel like I've had to come with that sometimes I show underwear seams now and I'm like but that's what's comfortable. God forbid someone knows that I'm wearing undergarments.
Chase: How did that become a thing? Cause my mom is the same thing. Like thinks thongs are disgusting. Like that's what whores wear and strip, right? But then like underwear lines. And I was like, why? But she didn't give a damn if you could see the underwear lines. I was like, why is that like a thing?
Courn: Yeah. That's like the underwear line thing which is seen as like being like trashy or something like if you showed underwear lines but if you wear a thong that's also trashy so it's like double standard.
Chase: Talk about the fact they don't make men's boxers and underwear like visible at all and no one gives a dang if you see that at all.
Courn: That's why I'm saying, you always see like men's boxers and shit.
Chase: And it's like, oh the boxer line above the sweatpants.
Courn: Yeah, that's a whole thing.
Chase: Liketrash. That's trash. What about socks?
Courn: I was gonna ask you, are you socks on or socks off?
Chase: Socks off.
Courn: All the time?
Chase: All the time. The only reason I'm wearing them right now is because I had too many things to do preparing to record today to like think about taking them off normally the routine and I was out of routine coming in today but like normally routines like come home, shoes off at the door, before we step in, not shoes off inside the house, on the doormat.
Courn: Good thing you clarified, I would have oooh!
Chase: Yeah no, no shoes on in the house and then it's like shoes and socks at the same time and then socks go in the dirty bin and like I can't wear socks as soon as I put socks on, immediately dirty. I could wear them for an hour ,dirty-
Courn: Okay that's fair, also if you have dogs in your house they-
Chase: But like a worn sock that's gotten that stretched out a little bit and I put that like stretched sock back on, never. So I'm also probably in the minority that I will wear bare feet to people's houses. Dogs out. My feet are clean. That's the thing. My feet are clean. They're not gross.
Courn: I'm worried for your feet. Like I'm not worried for my house. I'm worried for your feet.
Chase: Well, I mean like your house is clean, so I don't mind going to your house.
Courn: You'll get dog hair.
Chase: That's fine. I got dog hair here. But I am that person. So I have to kind of like it's kind of strange a little bit at certain houses so I don't always do it but I prefer shoes and socks off all the time barefoot all the time.
Courn: Dogs out with the dogs out.
Chase: Dogs out with the corn dog!
Courn: Yeah I'm mixed on socks. I don't like the feeling of socks, but the idea of my bare feet being on surfaces is much worse. So I wear socks, but I will say socks are not all made equal. I absolutely hated socks until I found the current brand that I'm wearing now. They are the perfect height on me, they’re the perfect looseness. urns out I just have big feet and most women's sock like don't, like I have size 9 and a half feet and most women's socks are like for like 6-
Chase: It's in between, yeah!
Courn: So it's too tight, so it never feels-
Chase: Size up is too big!
Courn: Yes and the thickness matters, if it's too thin of a sock if you have feet sweat then it like stays a little wet.
Chase: I used to wear those microfiber socks, bro terrible, oh they would get so sweaty they'd squish my foot. I don't like my toes being squished up, that's like a big no-no so I always get shoes half a size too big.
Courn: Yeah, I also do that!
Chase: Because I like a little bit of room but-
Courn: I just wear too big of socks and shoes and I know sometimes like that can cause problems too but it's just way more comfy for me so I wear socks that are really big they're really comfy for me so yeah, I don't wear them to sleep though that's a big thing!
Chase: Oh no, definitely not!
Courn: But Raymond wears his socks to sleep and he will not have socks on and then put them on to sleep. And it's not like a warm thing either. Like it's just like a comfortable thing. So.
Chase: Serial killer energy right there.
Courn: That's what I said.
Chase: Buddy, no. Putting them on for bed?
Courn: He'll put on fresh socks for bed.
Chase: So are you just touching like a sock foot over there?
Courn: I ain't touching it.
Chase: Oh, that's fair.
Courn: I thought you were gonna sa, this goes against all of your ace everything but like just, puts the socks on for sex, just socks, no clothes!
Courn: That is something I would confirm he would he would do!
Chase: No! When he eventually listens to this episode, no!
Courn: He's gonna be mad.
Chase: Don't put socks on for bed.
Courn: He's gonna be mad.
Chase: That's fine. Come for me.
Courn: But then also he would critique me because like then my feet are really cold and if anyone should wear socks at night, it should be me because I have bad circulation. So they are freezing cold and then I put them on his legs and he's like why are you doing that, it's so fucking cold! And I'm like you're warm. Be my Jacob.
Chase: I love putting my cold toes under my wife's legs. Or just like on their body. They're just that like, why are they so cold!?
Courn: I know it's a little toxic but it doesn't hurt anyone.
Chase: No, it's a good time. Okay, so socks. Yeah, I like the calf socks now. Like going up a little bit higher than what you got but sometimes like because my leg hair is kind of long, like the socks pressed on my hair for like more than too long. It gets like pretty, and then I get like, it gets itchy. Yeah.
Courn: Raymond always says that too cause he has a lot of leg hair and I'm just like.
Chase: Okay. That's good to know because I wondered if that's like a thing only because I grew my leg hair out later in life or if this is just a universal all the time.
Courn: No, I feel like a lot of people with hairy legs say that, that it literally chafes.
Chase: That's fair.
Courn: I've heard guys say that about like underwear too. Like hairy thighs and stuff. Chafes. Even shirts, undershirts would be like a hairy chest.
Chase: Yep. I could see that. God the chafing. Brutal. Yeah. Brutal. I love not wearing makeup. I don't know about you. You're a little more of a makeup person.
Courn: Yeah. It's always a mix for me. I wore a lot of makeup growing up because I just, I had like a big hyper fixation on makeup. And like I-
Chase: Oh, you got your eyeliner. Your fancy eyeliner days.
Courn: Yeah. I mean, I used to wear a full, full beat, you know? I had full foundation, highlighter, eyeliner. I never did fake lashes and stuff-
Chase: Why is it called full beat?
Courn: You know, I don't know it's probably a gentrified word if I had to guess.
Chase: Black culture?
Courn: Probably maybe I should stop saying that-
Chase: Oh no, I mean I was just curious. I was curious what it came from.
Courn: Yeah, I don't even know, it could just be something completely.
Chase: Drag, did like drag queen start that maybe? When you like beat your face with so much makeup almost because you're like doing the like little with patting.
Courn: It could be, yeah!
Chase: I don't know, if anyone knows comment on this episode when it drops on Instagram, let us know.
Courn: But yeah, makeup's always been a big thing for me. I've always hated wearing it though. It feels so disgusting. Like I literally used to just like-
Chase: I was also never taught really how to wear it well. Like my mom was not like a high makeup person and so-
Courn: Oh mine wasn’t not! My mom still doesn’t how how to-
Chase: Like I didn't learn how yeah I didn't learn how to do like foundation, contouring. I had to ask friends and I was always so embarrassed.
Courn: Where were you early YouTube? Literally me.
Chase: That's the thing, no I tried that it was like so bad, like eyeliner, I don't know my I got fine eyelids for it but like I got greasy eyelids so it always smeared and like I'd break out with the setting spray. So for me, it was a no. And I love it. I've never thought about ever. So stop.
Courn: You also have really great skin and I think that helps.
Chase: You have really nice skin!
Courn: I just love your brown skin.
Chase: Your skin is just so nice.
Courn: It's just so nice.
Chase: Ew, but I know what you mean.
Courn: It's very clear, which I feel like is a thing. Like I didn't have really clear skin in my teenage years. I had a lot of acne and stuff, and I still have a lot of discoloration on my face and stuff, but I don't wear foundation anymore. And I haven't for like 6 years.
Chase: Wow, yeah!
Courn: And that's been a really big thing. Cause I think that's a big beauty standard. It's like, you always have to cover up.
Chase: It's probably been like 4 years for me.
Courn: Yeah. So now I just do, I mean, I like doing eyeliner. I like doing like colorful eyeliner and stuff is fun and subtle stuff, but I just do eyeliner and mascara. I got my eyebrows tattooed, regret that. But now they always look filled in.
Chase: Did you really, you got them tattooed?
Courn: Yeah, it's fucking the worst. Don't do it.
Chase: I mean, I have a lot of bushy eyebrows, so I'm good, but.
Courn: They say it’s removable! I'm just telling anyone who's listening, don't do it. They tell you, oh, it's temporary. It's gonna fade. No, that's what they say. Cause it's like, you know.
Chase: Has it faded for you?
Courn: No, this is 4 years.
Chase: Wow, I'm impressed. I thought you drew them in in!
Courn: It also was the most painful thing I've ever got done in my life.
Chase: I'm impressed.
Courn: It actually was like someone was slicing you up.
Chase: Yeah, that's how a tattoo works, right?
Courn: It's way worse.
Chase: Oh.
Courn: Way worse.
Chase: So really you got that face tattoo. I got that neck tat. You got that face tat.
Courn: Most painful tat. And you have to get literal laser removal!
Chase: That makes sense, oh my, yeah I never realized, I never knew that about you. The more you know!
Courn: Not so fun fact!
Chase: Painful fact!
Courn: Talking about other sensory related things that come up a lot. Are you a water HD HD? Are you?
Both: *laughs *
Courn: Okay. Let me restart. This is why I don't do lead in phrases.
Chase: This is why I lead the convo. It's fine.
Courn: Talking about other sensory things would you can use... see this is when I try to record videos is the same shit because I can't come in thinking what I'm gonna say.
Chase: You're good bro, take your time.
Courn: Talking about other sensory related things would you consider yourself like a water ADHD person? Like do you like water? Do you like swimming? You know?
Chase: Yes. Yes. Yes. I love it.
Courn: That seems like you.
Chase: Yeah. I don't know the actual rhyme or reason you could argue that just like ADHD I'm an Aries so like big energy stuff, meaning like water has a lot of energy in it.
Courn: Is that a water sign?
Chase: No it just means that like there's like -
Courn: Astrology’s wrong! *laughs*
Chase: *laughs* I knew you were gonna go there. I don't know. I love water. I've always loved water as a kid. I liked being in water. So I will say like being in the Northwest where it's like really hard to be in just like natural bodies of water that are not frigid cold. I like really struggle and I think that's why like just in Hawaii, every time I go back, I'm like ocean immediately, all day, every day. I could be in there like for like 8 hours and be super happy. You? Is that what you mean?
Courn: Yeah. So that's exactly. I feel like that's always a big thing. Like sensory seeking people, I feel always really like water and it comes up a lot. I don't know, just like in the summer. Most people are like, oh, you want to go to the beach? Like, do you want to go to the beach like you want to go to the pool. I hate water. I hate all water.
Chase: I don't like chlorine pools but I would do it.
Courn: I'm the type of autistic, ADHD person that hates all water. The idea of pools is disgusting to me. I don't know what you're supposed to do in them. Like I get the weightless feeling is nice, but then like you're just wet. It's just like a sensory nightmare for me like when you have to get out. And I think the transition is a hard part for me. It's why I hate baths. It's why I hate showers. I hate getting in and out of water. The temperature differences are a big deal. Like I don't know, just the thought of being on the beach. Like I love the idea of the beach, like sunbathing, but not in the sun, but I hate sand, but I don't want to go on the water, but I want to look at the water. And that's like a hard thing to explain to people if they want to invite me to the beach. Cause I'm like, I gotta be under very specific locations.
Chase: We've had to make a lot of accommodations for my wife cause yeah, unmasking, that was a big thing of like hating the sand on the feet, doesn't like sand on the blanket, too much sun, not enough breeze. And so we've actually like bought a lot of stuff to kind of like accommodate for a lot of changes in that way. But as a thing, I've never been bothered about like feet wet, touching sand, like obviously I don't want to get in the car like that but like I could care less if sand got everywhere in my clothes. My sister is the opposite as a kid, couldn't touch sand, like would literally have a panic attack if sand touched her or if she touched the sand it was wild.
Courn: That's interesting.
Chase: Yep.
Courn: I mean Raymond's kind of like that. Raymond hates the sand, but he likes water, so we're always incompatible. Because I like the beach vibe more than the pool vibes. Like you don't have anything to look at at a pool.
Chase: Pool is like, and there's a lot of people. They're pretty gross. A lot of chemicals. Like I would take an ocean or a river of pool any day.
Courn: But his ADHD ass loves water. He'll just do laps in there.
Chase: Truly!
Courn: He'll be by himself. I don't go in the water.
Chase: Truly. When we went up to Seattle, swimming laps and that thing. He was the only 1. It was like kind of winter, wasn't it? Like maybe like-
Courn: The pool was not warm.
Chase: No, it was not warm outside at all, yeah.
Courn: It was cold literally like, very early spring.
Chase: Yeah yeah yeah and he was out there swimming laps, hot tub, pool hot tub, pool, it was wild!
Courn: He's always like that it's just so unhinged.
Chase: Is that a thing, to be like a water type ADHD?
Courn: Yes. I always bring it up because every time I ask them, they always have a really strong opinion on it.
Chase: Squirtle was always a favorite Pokemon of mine. So there you go.
Courn: Same, but that's only because he got the cool glasses.
Chase: That was only recently.
Courn: No, that's like the original.
Chase: Oh, that's true. I just like the-
Courn: TV show, he puts on the glasses.
Chase: I like how he talks, Squirtle!
Courn: That's what literally every pokemon does, they just say their name that's kind of how it works!
Chase: In like raspy voice, or it's like a really like, clefairy! Anyways, okay we diverged no, I love water but that leads into like showers and baths. How do you feel? What's your opinion on that sensory experience?
Courn: I hate that. I hate it.
Chase: Because you also don't like being in the ocean. You don't like being in pools.
Courn: No I don't like any water even clean water in my own home. I hate it. It's the difference of getting out.
Chase: You have a hot tub.
Courn: Yeah, but that's because it's warm. And I use, I don't like the feeling of being in a hot tub, but I have a lot of chronic pain and it helps with managing symptoms. So that's mainly why I use a hot tub. But, yeah, the idea of bathing is hard. I know that's a big thing. Like the idea of like bathing yourself doing that care is hard for a lot of autistic people, it's why a lot people have trouble like keeping up with their sanitation and like bodily stuff, it's hard, they don't like feeling of deodorant, they don't like the feeling of washing, so it makes it really hard.
Chase: Yeah, I didn't like taking a shower as a kid because it quote wasn't fun!
Courn: You want some toys in there?!
Chase: Yeah I used to tell my mom all the time I don't want to shower and so why and I was like it's not fun I was like I could go be playing and doing this stuff so that I don't think it has anything to do with like the sensory piece cuz like I just it was not fun.
Courn: That's like attention span. That's very ADHD.
Chase: For sure. Plus, I had really long hair, so like washing my hair was such a process as a kid and I was never taught how to thoroughly do it. I pretty much underwashed my hair for like 10 years of my life. So like there's that. As an adult though like I don't I don't know Showers are great. I love being clean. I love standing in the hot water. Like.
Courn: I also just can't stand long in the shower. I honestly should get a seat for my shower and I haven't got that accommodation. So that's also why I take really fast showers. I can't stand on that hard floor. I really should get shower slippers too, but I get scared about mildew and stuff, but I just haven't made that.
Chase: Like slipping and stuff. That's fair. I mean, I would take a bath more if we had like a nice comfy tub, but the cleaning of a tub and maintenance of a tub is a lot.
Courn: The idea of baths are quite gross. If you don't clean them often, they get really gross. Especially if someone else is showering in there.
Chase: Yes, and I think about that. I'm like, it's just kind of grody. So I mean, like, yeah, I like showers. I really like being clean. I really, like, I'm a shower at night person. I don't know about you. Bathing in the morning, at night.
Courn: I don't have the hair type for it.
Chase: If you like, when you like your regular bathing, is it like a at night, daytime, morning?
Courn: It's always morning for me.
Chase: Okay, so you know.
Courn: And I think that's just a need of necessity cause I can't style my hair if I wash it at night. Like I'd probably prefer to wash at night, but my hair also takes forever to dry. And when I had it really long, it would take over like 2 hours to dry. So doing it at night was just not feasible.
Chase: Yeah. And you don't wash your hair that frequent now. So that's why I say like on bathing days or whatever, but. .
Courn: Yeah Now having colored hair, I try to wash my hair as least as possible. So every other day is kind of like as frequent as I can do it. So.
Chase: You want to know a real sensory nightmare that I think we can all agree on?
Courn: What?
Chase: Doing dishes and that water.
Courn: Correct!
Chase: Going down the arm because you like lift up your arm a little too high or you-
Courn: I think that's a universal experience!
Chase: I don't know. Is that universal?
Courn: I think the severity is different. But every person I talk to is like, I fucking hate that.
Chase: I hate the cold wet food on dishes that get left in the sink. Yeah, that's pretty bad. I'm so sorry for saying that. People are like, ugh.
Courn: I know. People that are like, oh yeah, then use, you know, like gloves. But the latex gloves also feel gross. I don't like wearing gloves, I do have the little like scrunchy things you put on your arms when you're washing your face but then because they're made of towel material, they don't dry properly because they're-
Chase: They stink?
Courn: Yes and they smell like mildew so I think I just need to buy more pairs of them so I can wash them every day. I don't know what the solution is but yeah that helps some.
Chase: That's fair we use like some rubber gloves, they're like latex free rubber gloves to have kind of that soft fabric stuff on the inside those are fine but even then they get kind of gross and like crunchy because they get the-
Courn: Water gets inside!
Chase: Yeah and like they get once they kind of warm up to use hot water wash stuff, and they kind of like dry and like it hard after a while it's weird yeah so yeah. I don't like the the water but that's a hard one, I just, the smell I think if anything for me the smell doing dishes is hard like ,when like it's like stinky dishwater in like a pan or it sits for a couple days and it just starts to really get gross!
Courn: That's fair. I really don't have a good sense of smell.
Chase: You're so lucky. I think I have a hyper like sense of smell.
Courn: I'm like, I got a deviated septum and so I can't breathe out of my nose. I can't smell out of it unless it's like a really intense smell then yeah. Taking out the trash that actually will make me pass out from how bad it is because Raymond eats a lot of meat and if it sits in there.
Chase: No, see I put I got put meat in like a separate little plastic bag and I take it to the trash immediately because I hate that meat smell. Then you're otherwise you're taking your trash out every couple days and like I don't have plastic bags for that. We don't take up that much trash. Yeah so. On a complete like 180 but also like in the realm of sensory, didn't you make a little doorbell sign recently? How'd that go? It's real cute!
Courn: It's worked well okay, it's only been up like and I can't do the math, like 5 days or something, but it has worked with all the main delivery people, usps, fedex, we have the same people that usually deliver in our house and that's all-
Chase: I feel like they’re pretty respectful of those signs, especially when it's like baby or something you know like a newborn, okay.
Courn: Yeah! But literally I had no idea this would be like the most controversial thing I've ever posted because straight up I had so many DMs and just aggravated messages being like, they're never gonna listen to you! You can't tell postal workers what to do! They don't get paid enough and I'm like, oh that's true. But like oh my I think it's fine to put up a sign and just try. I think it's a pretty low risk thing. Like there were so many comments, people just being like, it needs to be higher up. It's not at eye level. And then I'm like, actually it's at eye level because there's little stairs there. It's like, well, how would I know that? And I'm like, I didn't ask for your opinion.
Chase: Unsolicited opinion. So I'm going to give you my opinion back. And then they're like, well, I wasn't talking about that. Well I wasn't talking to you in the first place.
Courn: There's just all these practical solutions I found really annoying that people are just like, oh well you know how about you just remove your doorbell and I'm like okay I'm gonna have to hire an electrician. I don't know how to remove wiring. It's not a battery.
Chase: You can just disconnect it.
Courn: I know I could just like, no, you can't. It's an active line. So I have to figure out what it's connected to. Like it's hardwired to our house.
Chase: Yeah.
Courn: So I can't just like cut it.
Chase: No, but you can take the bell off the little anyways.
Courn: But then it's just a hole. There's just a hole. I was like, I'm gonna cover it up. There's like a 2 inch hole.
Chase: See, that's a good point.
Courn: Like I took off the cover and I was like, okay, I could remove this, but then what?
Chase: Just put like a little thing over it or yeah, that's a good point.
Courn: And then I was like, and then I went to this whole, whole looking stuff up. I get it. I'll eventually get someone to remove it. But also knocking is annoying. Why do people knock on doors?
Chase: I don't know.
Courn: There's this whole line of comments where people are just like, oh well what if someone needs to get you in an emergency? I'm like what is an emergency where a complete stranger needs to come into my house and have access to me? What is that scenario?
Chase: The only thing is like firefighters. EMT.
Courn: Yeah. Which I think, I don't think they're going to be like, there's a sign that says don't knock. I'm not going to do it because you know.
Chase: No, that's different.
Courn: They're going to ignore it anyway.
Chase: Like if your house is on fire and you don't know it, I think that's an appropriate time to knock and ring the bell and they're not going to do that and you're going to need some common sense to just be like this doesn't apply to this.
Courn: Correct. But I'm like y'all had so many opinions on it it just made me laugh. Like literally, Raymond was like over me talking about it because every night I'd be like guess what this person commented? They're like oh what's someone supposed to do, climb into your window? And I was just like, what?
Chase: You should just get sassy with them and be like, actually I expect them to parachute into my bedroom, like spy kids roll and deliver the package. Sassy pants.
Courn: I thought it was insane.
Chase: Unhinged.
Courn: Like you're being disrespectful to delivery drivers!
Chase: Are you kidding me?
Courn: I literally already put a note on every delivery I get that just says leave it at the door.
Chase: Okay, but yeah, I was gonna say COVID really flipped the script on that because like, like deliveries just got left at the door because people were working at home all the time. Like people just left stuff at your door and like the whole option to even just like not knock and not have any contact with the person who brought your food or your groceries, like great. It's not that big it's great honestly when like uber eats or something comes by and they're like knock and ring the bell like why I saw you walk up like-
Courn: Literally! I've never had someone do that in so long.
Chase: I'm like, I wish I could pull my tip back when you did that. Because like, come on.
Courn: You could just remove. I have so many notes on it, because I getsent whatever through GrubHub, and I'm always just like, this is the house, leave it. Do not knock, do not. And they're-
Chase: Please don't.
Courn: Usually every driver on there is super cool about it, but we just like had a few new delivery drivers.
Chase: 120, yeah!
Courn: Yeah, then I'm like okay, I get it you don't get paid enough to listen to read the signs, but if it like stops a couple people and it costs $10 to print and I can easily remove it and move it…
Chase: Like just be a nice person.
Courn: What's the big deal? Yeah but then I had people they were just like oh that's because you don't train your dogs well enough.
Chase: Good lord.
Courn: You're a bad dog owner!
Chase: Those are ignorant things to say because your dogs are actually really well trained. They're just loud ones. People knock and ring the door. Guess what? That's actually a dog's job is to alert the pack when something is going on.
Courn: Yeah and I get it like I've tried to do reactive training with my dog. I could have done more for sure but also I'm like I'm sorry I have shelter dogs that are have a lot of anxiety-
Chase: A lot of trauma!
Courn: Some of that stuff cannot be trained out of them.
Chase: Yeah.
Courn: Nor does everyone have the time or privilege to be able to do that. That doesn't mean you're unworthy of having a dog.
Chase: Yeah, if you have to hire a dog trainer to do that it's expensive.
Courn: Yeah so I'm just like what to say if people can't have dogs, like we're allowed to be upset.
Chase: What an ignorant thing to say. Stuff like that where I'm like why does it make you so upset for me to say like, oh, I need this or I want this or I would really like it. Why do people get so upset?
Courn: It's literally my house. That's the thing too. I'm like, you're commenting about people's accommodations in their own spaces.
Chase: I'm not telling you to put this on your house. I'm not selling this to you because you need this. Like, just what you want in your house. Does it still say no soliciting?
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: Do people still solicit?
Courn: Bruh. It's something about these political canvassers lately and I get it-
Chase: And you're in like a suburban area too!
Courn: And I think that's why they come by, they see the pride flag-
Chase: And you're also home, you're also home during the day.
Courn: They see my car and they see a pride flag and they're like, oh, they're a left leaning person. Great, I'm already voting left on all those issues.
Chase: Trust me, I'm not voting for Trump.
Courn: I'm already involved in local politics, but literally they stand outside my house for like 10 minutes and it's so aggressive and I'm like, please just leave. I get that you have to do this and it's embarrassing but like the Mormons come by a lot too and like they see the pride flag.
Chase: No J-dubs?
Courn: I haven't talked to them in a while so I wouldn't know but they came in in full eclectic wear.
Chase: The J-dubs are Mormons.
Courn: I think they were Mormons because they had a little booklet and it looked like that's usually the ones that come around areas always the Mormons.
Chase: Sure. J-dubs are slipping. They need to catch up. No, I don't think people do that as much these days. Like just Christianity like you know.
Courn: Is that effective to go door-to-door?
Chase: I think it was back in the day. I don't think now it's like effective because people aren't home during the day. No one's home during the day. No one's homeschooled.
Courn: I don't know. I have a lot of fear that someone's gonna like bust into my house and like kill me. That's not insane to think. So I'm just like, I don't open doors for strangers, especially if I'm home alone. So no.
Chase: Well, yeah. I'm like, I'm gonna get stuck talking to you like, no I don't want to donate, I don't want to no, no.
Courn: Just let me be there's a few places I can have peace and like we live on a private road too so I'm like, what?
Chase: Yeah I'm thoroughly convinced it's also just because like it's the same thing like telling you it's like, capitalism right it's like invading your privacy, they didn't consent like there's no consent to knocking at my door and like it's just like you have to just take it. You don’t, you don’t, put a sign up don't answer the door!
Courn: Yeah I just don't, sometimes they see me in my office because there's the big window and they just look at me and I pretend I'm on a call.
Chase: Just go with the hand sign.
Courn: We both instantly put up-
Chase: The millenial hand sign!
Courn: The cell phone!
Chase: Dang, but it was like the pinky and the thumb. It wasn't the palm near your face.
Courn: No, it's not the flat.
Chase: God. All right. Well, honestly, that's a great point to end on. Ready to wrap it up?
Courn: Yeah.
Chase: All right. Bye.
Courn: Bye.
Chase: Hey folks, a quick disclaimer here. Courn and I speak directly from our own experiences, and while we try our best to amplify marginalized voices and present accurate information, the thoughts expressed here are definitely not a reflection of all neurodivergent, AAPI, or queer folks. So, if you have any suggestions, comments, or thoughts, feel free to email us at hello@neurotakespod.com. Thanks!